"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it you've got to start young."
Theodore Roosevelt
"The greatest amount of wasted time is the time not getting started."
Dawson Trotman
So, a friend and my sister had a post that got me to thinking. I've been working on letting go of my angst and feeling of discontentment. I've been real down since we got to MD because I really want to get back home and it's not happening. I started getting sad about my tiny house, Charlotte not having any girls her age, and just generally stupid stuff that shouldn't bother me. I realized that if I'm supposed to be happy here and content why should we keep waiting for our "real" life to start? This is our real life! We're going to be in this house til God sees fit to let us leave MD, hopefully to Fl or GA :) So, I decided that we're going to start nesting and that means getting my house set up as a place we CHOOSE to live in. I hate having mismatched furniture and old lumpy fall apart junk that's give to me and it works so we take it. We're going to have real furniture and a house that I like being in and am comfortable in. If I keep waiting life will never start, you know? There'll always be a reason to see the gloomy dark sucky side of things. I CHOOSE to start living like I enjoy this little house because I do for the most part. I enjoy the massive yard with room for Charlotte to have a swing and a playhouse one day, apple trees to eat fresh delicious apples, peach trees with the most delicious white peaches you've ever eaten, room for a vegetable garden, a flourishing little herb garden right out my kitchen door, a bonfire spot that is soon to become a stone bonfire pit, and so many flowering trees! When I consciously list the things I love about this place I feel so stupid for being so ungrateful. We even have a ton of room to add on to make the master sweet and closet I've always dreamed of. This house is like myself, room to grow and become the person I've always wanted to be. It's exciting to think of the things I can do, if I only let God do it. I have a feeling I hold him back a lot because of my bad ungrateful attitude. Which is a hard thing to think. I want God to use me and bless me if for no other reason than for Charlotte's sake. I know for a fact that because my parents were faithful to God I lived in a blessed house and want Charlotte to have the same thing, to know thta God is real because she sees him on a daily basis
"The begining is the most important part of the work."
Plato
LOVE this blog! I think the same way, haha. I'm always WAITING to live my life, and it SHOULDN'T be like that! I'm trying to focus on enjoying the NOW.
ReplyDeleteWe used to call our couches "that 70's show" couches because they didn't match and they we're old. After we got married we spent some of our money on a new couch!
just like i said about your sister's post, your post is something i can totally relate to. it's almost like y'all took words from past thoughts i've had.
ReplyDeleteif it makes you feel any better though, most of our furniture are still ones that have either been given to us when we first got married, or i they're incredibly cheap stuff that doesn't match, and i'm still lacking in stuff. my kitchen is practically bare, not cute at all. (you'll see, if ever you get your butt over for a visit=P) our master bedroom still looks like a room that a newlywed couple with no money just moved into. ya know, a newlywed couple that's just livin' on love, hehe ("i could live in a shack, i don't care, as long as i'm with you baby!"). seriously, just a bed and a dresser that isn't the best looking, but it holds clothes. the bed doesn't even have a headboard. how romantic, right?
there's been plenty a time when i would look at that stuff, and go, "maybe next year, we'll be able to afford something better." then ya know what? a baby would come along. babies, kids, they sure can take up money. drew being in the military is a huge blessing (and i am thankful for all his hard work), but he ain't no officer.
here's the thing, i might never have gorgeous expensive furniture, a huge house, the newest of cars (we have a rinky dinky van, and beat up car,but hey, at least the van is payed off!), brand name clothes. it might take forever before we get a nice bedroom set, and i could go on...
i could wallow in so much discontentment if i allowed myself which of course in no way breeds the joy a christian should have, but i really feel like there are so many blessings that come out of choosing not to be that way. the blessing of realizing that my husband makes enough money that i get to be a stay-at-home mom and don't have to be away from my children, and get to see their beautiful faces everyday, and witness all their "firsts". the blessing of having a roof over our heads, food on the table, beds to sleep on, a husband who loves me and his children, and so much more. also, if we ever do have the extra money to be able to spend on things that we want, well, it normally goes towards spending it on outings with the kids. hmmm, a brand new bed or a trip to yadayada? spend the money on making awesome memories with the kids, or on something materialistic that we don't necessarily need?
drew's little motto has always been, "find happiness in the small things." it isn't super deep, but it's nice to be able to find happiness and beauty in things like God's creation, like your garden you mentioned or something little like the smell of freshly bakes cookies, a day at the park, etc.
everyone's posts have been encouraging, and it's nice to know that i'm not alone in this. we're all in it together=)