Esto Perpetua (Latin: Let it be forever)

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

If You Can't Pay Your Bills...

"There's always something to be thankful for. If you can't pay your bills, you can be thankful you're not one of your creditors"

"We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside the wires."
Dave Barry

Today I had my protein fortified breakfast and spent time with the Hubby and Little before sending the bread winner off to work. After a little while of playing and feeding Little it was morning nap time. Then I sat down for the most arduous task of the month: Bill Paying! It seems that each month life is getting more expensive. Now, as a family our extraneous bills are extremely low. We just have one car payment and a house payment. Then are the most painful bills, the reccuring bills that will never be paid off! The electricity, groceries, health insurance, gas, and internet/cable. Now, you may say "Amber, don't complain about the internet/cable bill that's completely optional!" No, it's actually not for us. Dallas does online classes so his homework goes through the internet and the homework for his other class that he does at Wor-Wic all the stinking homework is online too, go figure. Maybe teachers are getting lazy but you'd think a class that has a real life teacher would have real life homework. Any ways, I have been looking to find ways to shrink our monthly "controllable expenses. It's really hard! I really think I ay try to find a way to get my only prescription filled without having to use insurance. I'm young and healthy therefore I'd love to be able to drop my portion of the health isurance and just have Charlotte insured until Dallas gets into the FAA and that would save us like $150/mo! It will be even better when he gets in because then we won't really feel the insurance ding like we do now. Then there's the stupid electric bill :-/ My most hated nemesis. You never know how much that darn thing is going to be and it seems that it is ever ascending in the summer. Now, mind you, we only have a 897sq/ft home. It should be cheap to keep cool right? Wrong!!! It's around the high $150's all summer. So, yeah, that sucks. Then you have the gas bill, it's also $100 something. It's only saving grace is that in the summer we seem to get bi-monthly bills. The bill in the winter always lands right before Christmas :-[ Seriously? On a happier note though, by the grace of God we are able to pay all of our bills and doing things that we want to do. We aren't lacking in anyway. I have a major penchant for the Goodwill and Target which makes my shopping habit affordable :) Goodwill is just generally cheap and Target's clearance section keeps Charlotte dresses super cute for around $4 a piece sometimes less. The Lord Blesses us because we tithe and give to missions and to any special things that the church is collecting for. It is such a blessing that I look at a budget that on paper it looks like we should be eating cat food and never having fun, but, we are thriving as a family. We might not be putting a ton in the retirement account, but, we are putting a little. We ARE paying our bills, tithing, missions, special projects, and fun things! It will be so nice to show Charlotte when she's older that when Life knocks the wind out of you with what seems like difficult circumstances, just keep doing whats right and God takes care of the rest. When we first moved to MD we litteraly had $0 extra dollars at the end of the month. I can't even count how many times I cried because I couldn't go home to visit or shop even going grocery shopping put knots in my stomach. Thank the Lord he's blessed us with our little house that is less than half of what we were paying for rent alone. Growing up is hard to do but little by little we're getting the hang of it and God is blessing us for hanging in there :)

"Birds have bills too, and they keep on singing."

Friday, September 23, 2011

Just a List...

I was reading some of the blogs I subscribe to and one person had posted this list. I thought it is a fun way to think about your life and decided to steal it  :)  Here goes!

1. If I were to get pg again: I'd be really excited, preferably it will be when Charlott is a little older and more self sufficient so it won't be so hard on us. Having two infants at once with no family near by would be really hard.
2. If I could have any job in the world: Being a mommy  :)  I already have my dream job!

3. If I had a day to myself I would: Go for a pedicure and hopefully find a friend to go with. I don't know who I'd invite but I'd like to try  :)
4. If I could get married all over again: I would still elope to VA but I would like my parents to be there or none at all. It caused a ton of issues but I didn't know how to uninvite my future inlaws that my future husband invited. I have a feeling there's a back story there, but, I won't go there.

5. If I could live anywhere in the US: In FL back with my family  :)  I miss my Mom, Dad, and sisters sooo bad  :(

6. If my girl would have been a boy we would have named her: I have no idea! Thank God we  had a girl because Lord knows we couldn't pick a boys name. The only thing we agreed on was making the middle name Russell like Dallas  :)

7. If I could have any talent in the world: Sewing or Knitting. I can sing already, just hate to do it in front of people. I don't need that attention!

8. If you met me in real life: I hope you'd find me fun and friendly. I thik in reality you'd find me slightly boring and cautious, ferociously protective of my family and dedicated to serving the Lord  :)

9. If I could go back to school and get a different degree: I'd want to get a degree in fashion design  :)  I'd love to be able to whip up sweet outfits out of my own head like on Project Runway.

10. If money was NO object: You'd better believe we'd be in FL on a huge chunk of land living in a family compound. the guys would go fishing all day and us girls would sit around and chat, play with our babies, cook delicious gouret meals and shop!

11. If I could meet one celebrity it would be: Um, I really can't think of any real celebrities, ok, I lie. Celine Dion. I LOVE her!

12. If we had a different pet it would be: Nothing. I hate having pets. Our dog is such a pain and the other dog we had and got rid of was another disappointment. So, no more animals.

13. If I could only shop at one store for the rest of my life: I'd have to say like Macy's or soething where you get a ton of variety.

14. If I could go on a trip right now: To FL of course! Thank God I get to go in November so that's not too far away!

15. If I had to choose between a house cleaner or a personal chef: House Cleaner. Then I'd never have to do dishes because my house cleaner would take care of it all! No more laundry, no more dishes, forever!!

16. If I had the option of any plastic surgery: No thank you. That's not neccesary.

17. If I could wake up and look like anyone I would choose: Myself, I've never wanted to look like anyone else.

18. If I could have a magical super power:  I'd like the power to snap my fingers and have things happen. Job at the Eglin tower? *snap* there it is! Laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away? *snap* it's done! A super cute outfit to wear? *snap* it's there! Ha ha, that'd be great!

19. If I could change one thing in my past: Um, maybe wasting my time on people that didn't matter. I wish I would have just had enough faith in God that he'd bring the right people to me. Other than that, nothing much.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Watch What You Eat...

"A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch."
Hermione Gingold

"Rich, fatty, foods are like destiny: they too, shape our ends."

I wanted to just post a quick diet update. I am now on day three of the induction phase of the Atkins diet. Other than trying to adjust to NOT giving into sugar, this is so easy. I don't have to count calories but majoring my meals on mostly protien keeps me really full so there is never the "Oh poor me, I just want to eat something!" and the resulting guilt of giving into actually eating. It also is allowing me to get control of what I already know is my issue, too many sugars and carbs. I don't know about you but, Girl do I love me some bread! I can eat bread at every single meal and still eat it as a snack in between meals. I know in my heart that it's not suppose to be that way with my eating habits but I still eat way too much bread when I'm not dieting. Even when I am dieting there is the 40cal a slice bread so that's healthy right? Ha ha, anyways, the New and Improved Atkins is really good about laying out how and why the diet works. It also allows a very good range of veggies that I can lay into. I love veggies, not so much cheese which in the old diet was a mainstay. That and eggs, blech! I hate egg yolks. I usually eat the whites but I'm trying to get over that because there are so many good things for us in an egg yolk. But, it also has become easier to eat out on this diet because restaurants are becoming more in tune with people's desire to eat and live healthier. Therefore I can pretty much go to any restaurant now and eat without having to ask for special things done to my meal, whick is so great. It's really funny because I got my book last Tuesday and started eating whatever the heck I wanted that wouldn't be allowed on the diet. It was a glorious yet long four days. It was funny because I got sick of eating fast/fattening foods, so I had to force myself to eat dinner. Then Sunday it was so hard to resist the cookies and clam chowder at church but I did it and stuck to my salad and string cheese. Then it was BIRTHDAYS celebration that night and so I sat around watching everyone eat ice cream, cookies, and cake! I was rewarded with KFC's grilled chicken and green beans so I wasn't completely left out :) I'm hoping to lose about 35lbs total. I want to lose at least half by Kara's wedding. I know I prolly won't lose it all but I don't want to be monstrously bigger than everyone else. I know I'll never be in the 120's or less like my sisters are but, I can be 135-145lbs and I don't look like I'm a huge monster compared to them. I'm a bigger scaled girl than them but it carries differently on me too. Though, I won't lie, I'd love to quote my sisters weight to people instead of my own! To be tiny and cute would be great, but, God gave me this body so I want it to look as good as it possibly can. I must say I am extremely pleased so far and wish I'dve started sooner! Thank you Shauna for telling me over and over to try it out! I owe you one low carb cookie ;D Ha ha! Anyways, I'll keep ya'll updated from time to time and ya'll keep me accountable and encouraged, ok?

"No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you can do is run for public office."
George Bernard Shaw

Saturday, September 17, 2011

"You've Got to Start Young”

"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it you've got to start young."
Theodore Roosevelt
"The greatest amount of wasted time is the time not getting started."
Dawson Trotman
So, a friend and my sister had a post that got me to thinking. I've been working on letting go of my angst and feeling of discontentment. I've been real down since we got to MD because I really want to get back home and it's not happening. I started getting sad about my tiny house, Charlotte not having any girls her age, and just generally stupid stuff that shouldn't bother me. I realized that if I'm supposed to be happy here and content why should we keep waiting for our "real" life to start? This is our real life! We're going to be in this house til God sees fit to let us leave MD, hopefully to Fl or GA :) So, I decided that we're going to start nesting and that means getting my house set up as a place we CHOOSE to live in. I hate having mismatched furniture and old lumpy fall apart junk that's give to me and it works so we take it. We're going to have real furniture and a house that I like being in and am comfortable in. If I keep waiting life will never start, you know? There'll always be a reason to see the gloomy dark sucky side of things. I CHOOSE to start living like I enjoy this little house because I do for the most part. I enjoy the massive yard with room for Charlotte to have a swing and a playhouse one day, apple trees to eat fresh delicious apples, peach trees with the most delicious white peaches you've ever eaten, room for a vegetable garden, a flourishing little herb garden right out my kitchen door, a bonfire spot that is soon to become a stone bonfire pit, and so many flowering trees! When I consciously list the things I love about this place I feel so stupid for being so ungrateful. We even have a ton of room to add on to make the master sweet and closet I've always dreamed of. This house is like myself, room to grow and become the person I've always wanted to be. It's exciting to think of the things I can do, if I only let God do it. I have a feeling I hold him back a lot because of my bad ungrateful attitude. Which is a hard thing to think. I want God to use me and bless me if for no other reason than for Charlotte's sake. I know for a fact that because my parents were faithful to God I lived in a blessed house and want Charlotte to have the same thing, to know thta God is real because she sees him on a daily basis
"The begining is the most important part of the work."

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

There's a monster in my house!

"A Baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother"
Mark Twain
What a day! Good grief, what a FEW days. So, I think Charlotte is teething but then again I've been thinking that for like two whole months, so I really don't know what to think :( These last few days she has pretty much cried non-stop with me and when I say cry I mean cuh-ry and with a lot of screaming, like horror movie screaming, thrown in. Of course this all falls on the days that Dallas has long work days so I'm left with the demon child all alone for extended periods of time. It was so bad coming home from the ladies meeting (that I shouldn't have even gone too, stupid me!!) that my heart was racing til about half an hour after she'd finally fallen asleep. She screamed all the way home from church, while I was holding her unloading the car, while I changed her diaper and into her pajamas, and through her bottle. She also screamed quite a bit while she was fighting going to sleep which was what she really needed most. Then to add insult to injury she hasn't been sleeping well either. So, I've been dealing with the most unhappy baby on the planet while also not being able to get more than 2-3 solid hours of sleep for the last 4 days. Part of the lack of sleep is my wonderful husbands fault. He's not the best bed sharer sometimes. I've been feeling mself slowly turning into a troll and I've been praying hard that God will help me controll myself. However, I've noticed the slow slide into sleep deprived insanity has begun. I try to comfort myself with the fact that this phase won't last long either. She's obviously not feeling good so I just take a deep breath about every 10-15min and try something new to pacify the monster. As much as I really should be wistfully remembering the days that I could have run away to work and left the screamer behind for someone else to care for, that is the one thing I am most glad I don't have to do. I am so thankful that I am the one taking all the screaming and rabid hair pulling and kicks to the hand while trying to change her diaper. I'd bawl my eyes out trying to hand her over to someone else to love and mother her when that's what I should be doing, I'm so grateful that I am the recipient of the torture because I know that she's building a bond with me and she'll know that I'm the one who loves her and will comfort and care for her no matter what. Besides, in this place, I highly doubt that I'd be able to find someone that wouldn't just sit her in a bed and let her rip. I'm glad that I can take her out and swing her and rock her or whatever to try and make her feel better. Ah, I feel so much better after letting that out. I hope this doesn't make me a bad mommy, complaining about my baby, but, I'm sorry that's what's going on and for a whole month and a half I've had her all by myself, no dates or baby breaks other than an hour at church on sunday morning and night. I still love her more than anything and soon she should return to her mostly happy gleeful self :) I know if I could just get a good nights sleep everything would seem easier :) Anyways, I've been wanting to lose some weight and I've taken the plunge and ordered the Atkins Diet book. My sister sings it's praises so I figure I'll read it and hopefull be able to start it next week and get this sugar monster out of my system. I've been really really bad with my eating habits lately and I hate myself for it! Ugh! Lot's of self loathing lately, but, on the plus side it's less than two months before I get to escape to FL! Ah, sweet sweet Fl! I have been dying to just be in my mother's presence! It will make me feel so much better to be around my family again. But, I seem to have hit a wall in my writing mind and will prolly go try to lay down and rest for a bit :) Talk to ya'll later!