Esto Perpetua (Latin: Let it be forever)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Changes Every Day

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies. ~Author Unknown

I was getting ready for work on Monday and as I finished applying my make up I looked in the mirror and thought "I look like a Mom." Not in a "I'm dressed too frumpy or have bad hair" way but just older and mature. It's funny because lately it seems every other day something new is popping up. Then yesterday it seemed as if all of a sudden I have a baby bump. A real one, not the "is it a pooch or is that maybe a baby in there?" kind but a real honest to goodness baby bump and it was a happy moment. I've been dying for this moment to arrive where I don't feel merely fat but I feel like I look pregnant. Dallas noticed and all the girls at work brought it up too. It's so scary that as of this Friday I'm officially half way done. I can't wait to meet my little girl but I really dread the getting her here part. I've always been afraid of it. Sometimes watching A Baby Story is helpful but other times it fills me with fear :) It's like a car wreck you can't help but look even if you've covered your eyes you still peek through just a little to see. It gives me a little comfort to familiarize myself with the process. I never realized that the first kid will take almost all day to get out... *gulp! So, whatever, the more I know the better I'll feel when the time comes. I'd rather know and be nervous than to have no idea and freak at every little thing like when we knew I was pregnant but didn't know how far along we were. It was like living in slow motion, the fear of doing something wrong that would compromise the little life inside that we didn't want to do much of anything but stay put and go to work/church. :) I'm so grateful to have this experience though, every little punch she gives me reminds me of the angel that's coming. I love the idea of Dallas and his little girl. There couldn't be a prouder Daddy at this time and he's being really amazing at helping around the house and handling the more delicate situations I won't go too in detail on here. But, he's exactly the man I need and I am so blessed to have a husband who not only loves me but is willing to do things that I can't really figure out how to do on my own and supports me. So, all that being said, Happy 25th Birthday to me tomorrow! :) I'm still excited even if Dallas has to work and I'll be here alone most of the day. See ya'll on the 25 side!

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed. ~Irene Peter