Esto Perpetua (Latin: Let it be forever)

Monday, April 18, 2011

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Small And Brand New




Ten fingers, Ten toes
She's laughter and teardrops
So small and brand new
And amazingly angelic
She's sent to bless you
She's one special Baby
The best of life's treasure
And will grant and bless you
Many hours of great pleasure.
Author Unknown

She's here! Baby Charlotte Jane came into the world on March 29, 2011. She made her entrance at 2:56pm weighing 8.2 lbs and 20 3/4 in long. I still don't know how she crammed up inside of 5'5'' me, but, she did and she is gorgeous :) It started monday the 28th after I'd gone for my regular check up. We got there early, 9:30am so as hopefully be seen on time since I was due to work at 11am. They weighed me and checked my BP on time and shorty escorted us to a room, where we waited for over 2 hours to be seen. When the doctor finally came in we saw her for all of 30 seconds and were basically told that they'd be seeing us next week and they'd discuss inductions. I was shocked and angry, 1. that she'd not updated me on my progress like effacement or dilation and 2. that we'd waited that long and she didn't even ask me if we had any questions. After we left I made it to work 30min late and was feeling extremely uncomfortable. At one point I had to leave the teller line because I was so uncomfortable and in pain. The girls at work were saying that I was going to go into labor in the next few days. I have had the 29th in my mind for the longest time, it was really funny like a premonition. Well, I worked and went home and took it easy I just felt bad, like pressure down there. Then after Dallas got home from class I decided to jump in the shower to help me feel better. I felt a little better and got in bed and we slept. I woke up at 2:30am and felt a stomach cramp. I thought maybe I needed to go to the bathroom, well, I got back in bed and I noticed that they were coming exactly 5min apart. I didn't want to wake Dallas up if there was nothing going on and when he rolled over at 4:15am I said "Are you awake?" "Yeah, why?" "I think I'm having contractions." "What!? Really?" So, we timed the and they were every five min and lasted about one min a piece. So we decided that I should call my mom and see what she had to say. She said we should definitely call to see if the hospital would get us in for a check to see what I was doing as far as labor progression. So we loaded up the car and headed out. We got to the hospital and they checked e and said I was definitely in labor and was 80% effaced and 3cm dilated. They got us settled in a room and there we waited. As the day went on I got sick twice, which was weird, I didn't know that happened and I got the epidural at 5cm. Once again we were waiting but with the contractions gone it was actually fine. Then about 2pm the doctor came in and said he thought I needed a c-section. I thought for sure he meant later on that day and then he says "So, let me know what you think so we can get things started." I said "You mean like now?" and then he just said that we could wait since the baby wasn't in distress but that it would just prove the point that I needed one to have her. So I said "You're the doctor" and they started prepping me for surgery. As they were rolling me back I was so scared and the tips of my fingers went numb and my head got very light. I prayed that God would help me to calm down because I was feeling like I was going to pass out and I wanted to be awake to hear her first cry and see if she had hair all the first things Mom's want to know when Babies make their debuts. So, long story short she was born at 2:56pm and Dallas did such a great job he was so supportive and even starved while I had to starve :) I kept begging him to get food but he didn't want to eat while I couldn't. He's been the biggest help and to see him with the baby, how much he loves her and me. It just melts my heart. I was also really happy because my mom got to come and stay the week with us. She cooked and cleaned and helped with Charlotte and basically was the best mom a girl could have asked for. I a very sad that she had to leave today, it really broke my heart and I've been crying off and on. I' trying to hold it in til Charlotte is asleep because this isn't anything to do with her so I don't want her to see me. I am also wishing that the weather would war up already. I am going to go stir crazy inside all day. I can't wait to get out into the sunshine. Since I had the c-section I can't drive for two weeks, and outside is really the only place I can go for another week by myself. I was able to be active right up til her delivery so this being still stuff is stinking! I feel like I'm locked in my living room. That's where it's easiest to rock her and nurse her and pump basically I live in the living room! I am very grateful that she at least seems to sleep pretty well at night. We had one night that she didn't sleep well and I didn't sleep at all except for maybe three under ten minute cat naps. So, Kara comes in Friday and it will be great to have company again. I just wish it was during the week when I'm here alone. It really really hit me how much I wish I was close to my family. I mean, we've been applying everywhere fro GA-NWFl and nothings been offered yet. I wish I was closer so all of the babies firsts could be shared and I wouldn't feel so overwhelmed. I just feel like as much as I know, I know nothing. It will also be nice when she's a little older and can keep me company. So anyways today is her One Week Birthday :) We love her so much and know it only gets better! Thanks for all your prayers and please please keep me in your prayers as I really need them right now.

A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on earth, a link between angels and men.
Martin Fraquhar Tupper