One more time...

"Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God."
Diana Robinson

We just finished our Revival this last Sunday at church. What a great time in the Lord. Our visiting Evangelist was a man named Dan Toney. He played the guitar and sang very very well. Reminded me of an old western cowboy, so soothing and calm. All of the messages were so incredible but this one in particular hit home. It was on prayer and patience. He didn't preach so much on patience but praying always goes hand in hand with patience as well as faith. In the message he said "Who knows what God will do if but pray one more time." When he said it, he didn't phrase it as a question for us to ponder. It was a statement. Bro. Dan was saying keep on praying. Never give up until God says no. Just because God doesn't answer yet doesn't mean he's saying no. Maybe he's trying to teach us something. Maybe it's a trial of our faith and belief that he can do anything. That God is going to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think. I was struck by this statement even though I pray on even when I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes it feels a tad robotic to pray the same thing over and over again. I tell myself to just do it, the prayer is prayed and I fell like it's done but what did it accomplish? To hear it spoken so literally and so heart felt and believed by a man who had lived the christian life preaching God's word and living by faith longer than I've been on this green earth and see the tears well up in his blue eyes made me so happy to know I serve a God who loves me and wants the best for me. I need to keep the faith and live for the God of heaven who loves me so much and saved me from a death that I truly deserve. How can I doubt him? He's been with me every moment of my life and it's more apparent every moment I live that He is ordering my steps. When I was in kindergarten I sang a song called "In His Time" and I don't know why but I have remembered it ever since. I feel as if I'm living that very song right now. Many of the things in my heart I pray for daily haven't come to pass yet but in His time they will be a blessing that I'll know God brought specifically for me. The thoughts of what God is going to do for me makes me so excited and anxious even. What more could we ask for in life than for a best friend and guide who we can depend on 100% of the time, who will never let us down, who will never leave us or forsake us? I'm so grateful for our God. Let me close this out by reminding everyone to remember to pray for our troops this weekend. It's through their sacrifice that we get to celebrate our independence. I included a prayer by a great American hero. Let's keep praying, even for the things we've not seen yet. God loves us so much. Isn't that the most incredible mystery?

“I have had prayers answered - most strangely so sometimes - but I think our heavenly Father's loving-kindness has been even more evident in what He has refused me.”

Lewis Carroll

“God of our fathers, who by land and sea have ever lead us to victory, please continue your inspiring guidance in this the greatest of all conflicts. Strengthen my soul so that the weakening instinct of self-preservation, which besets all of us in battle, shall not blind me to my duty to my own manhood, to the glory of my calling, and to my responsibility to my fellow soldiers. Grant to our armed forces that disciplined valor and mutual confidence which insures success in war. Let me not mourn for the men who have died fighting, but rather let me be glad that such heroes have lived. If it be my lot to die, let me do so with courage and honor in a manner which will bring the greatest harm to the enemy, and please, oh Lord, protect and guide those I shall leave behind. Give us the victory, Lord.”
General George S. Patton

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Be Careful What You Wish For You Just Might Get It....
Proverb


I've been thinking lately with all the new things surrounding me. New job, new kitchen, new prayers, new desires. Everything and anything I can think of has been thought. Fortunately God has brought one of my ruminations to life before my very disbelieving eyes. It was a moment of God reaching down quite literally and showing me something He wanted me to see. The other day, Dallas and I saw a little Robin fighting with all her heart to get a string from a garden. The string was wrapped very well in the garden as a plant tie. We watched the Robin fight with her whole heart for about twenty minutes and giggled at her folly. Surely she would realize she'd never win the battle, give up, and fly away to a more profitable venture such as the feeder sitting in the backyard. The day turned to evening which turned to the next day. As Dallas and I were outside cleaning up the yard I kept hearing a rustle in the tree. I couldn't figure out what was going on. I mentioned to Dallas that there was a semi-psychotic bird somewhere near. He said "There it is in the tree there" when my eye found where he was pointing I saw a little Robin. I walked over and saw something peculiar was going on with the bird. It was not sitting atop the branch but underneath. The closer I got I realized the bird was not sitting at all, but rather she was *hanging by none other than her precious string. Our little friend had fought her fight and battled and waged until she got what she wanted. Now the very thing she so desperately wanted had hung her. I called to Dallas and soon our own little rescue mission was on. We managed to get her down with Dallas's weight to pull down the branch and a rake for me to get her out we were able to untangle our poor sweet scared friend. She was terrified of course but she was visibly shaken and thirsty. As Dallas untangled her leg I was awe struck. How did a string manage to knot several times around a Robin's leg and tie her to a branch so she couldn't fly or even get upright again? As we freed her and watched her get her land legs again she sat a moment then flew away. I still see her days later, she hobbles around the yard content to gather the things she should. No grandiose dreams of a twenty foot worm. She is perfectly happy to dig for her food once again. Why do we as children of God try to force our agendas on our heavenly Father? God does not conform to our plans but we to his. Unfortunately, I see myself in that little bird sometimes. I get impatient and think I know how things should work or how they will be. *I know how to fix things so well (this is completely sarcastic for the record ;] ) I end up getting ahead of the things God has for me and miss the things I should be learning. I try to get to large when God is trying to teach me peace and contentment. I jump over what He wants and force my own way and in the process hang myself with the very thing I thought I wanted. The few people closest to me will prolly know what one of the desires of my heart is. I'm praying for patience on so many levels and I'm feeling a real peace about it. Not only the one desire but so many things. The Lord knows my heart and has everything laid out in his perfect will and time. It's hard sometimes to be patient. I know I could run out and fix a few things myself, get the string free if you will, but I can also see how certain aspects of me aren't ready for the progression quite yet. I know that God knows as well, he knows every step I take and every thought in my heart. It's wonderful to know that everything is ordered of the Lord. Maybe I'm not going to have the twenty foot worm just yet, maybe I'm supposed to be content with my seed mix for now. The God who has led me and cared for me and given me such a wonderful life is still my God now. He loves me so much more than I can ever imagine and he even has his eye on my little Robin friend. I can hear her song just about everyday and she will always remind me to wait on the Lord. What a wonderful God we serve. Thank you Lord for your provisions and love. Thank you for your guidance and merciful lessons to us. You know what I need to learn even when I don't realize I'm lacking. Please help me to realize You are always in control and my path is best walked when walked by your side. I love you Lord.


To be successful, you must decide exactly what you want to accomplish, then resolve to pay the price to get it.
Bunker Hunt

Questions and Ponderings

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
Dr. Seuss


Well, we've all heard the saying be careful what you wish for it just might come true? As the few people who read this blog know I've been praying about the girls who live next door the younger one more specifically. I've come to call her Lil' Creepy because of her bad habit of peeking in any open window and just walking through any open door whenever she pleases. Lil' Creepy is becoming more and more of a fixture at our house. Her recent addition to my duties is dropping her silverware off in my sink for me to wash for her. I find this habit particularly annoying because I don't have a dish washer so any amount if extra dishes bugs me, especially when I or Dallas haven't eaten off it and the meal eaten with said utensil was supposed to be a semi date night. However, I digress :) This Saturday, Lil' Creepy was asking quite a few questions, some questions that I do not quite know how to answer. The questions are a little more tricky than I know how to answer because of her family life. They started out pretty simple Q1. "Why do you hang out with me so much?" A1. "Well, you're a nice kid, why wouldn't I hang out with you?" she then says "Because you're not even my mom and she hates me!" "I'm sure she doesn't hate you!" "Yeah she does, she said she does, to my face!" We had a conversation about that for a little while. She seems to have so many questions about everything in life, I really like how it makes me think. I have so much more freedom in answering her in a way because she doesn't ask from a point of view or in a combative way. She genuinely wants to know why or what is the reason I do things the way I do. She is seeking answers from one of the few adults in her life. Her paternal grandparents are in Canada where her dad is originally from and they don't have much contact with their maternal grandparents. They don't attend church except for a youth thing every Friday evening. Q2. How long did you and Dallas date before he asked you to marry him? A2. Well, um, it was one month before we decided we wanted to get married. And I got my ring the Monday before we got married." Q3."Whoa, whoa, whoa! What did you say!? Are you serious!?" A3. "Yes, I'm dead serious!" "Man, I wish that would happen to me." "You will have plenty of time for that when you're a little older. You really have a lot of other things that you need to be focusing on right now." and the conversation about life goals at the age of thirteen ensued. Q4. "How did you know that you wanted to marry Dallas?" A4. "When we first met I loved his smile, I met him at my church during a revival so I knew he had the same beliefs as me, when we actually went out he was a true gentleman, and most importantly we talked about *everything!" then we talked about this for a little while. Q5. "Do you ever cuss?" (Lil' Creepy tends to have a colourful vocabulary which she now mutters under her breath after I have had to warn her about said vocabulary. Oy vey!) A5. "No, I don't I have a large enough vocabulary I *do *not cuss and you shouldn't either. It's not a very lady like thing to do." "But, don't you ever like hurt yourself and just say it? I know you do!" "No, I don't. You hand out with me a lot, have you ever heard me?" "Well...No." Then she sat the quietly with a bewildered look on her face for a few minutes. I could tell she was thinking about what her next move would be. Which turns out, she decided on some more questions :) Q6. "Do you ever drink?" "Drink what? You mean alcohol?" "Yeah, like vodka?" A6. "No! We don't drink alcohol." "Why not?" "Because I'm a Christian, I'm saved and as a Christian I don't drink alcohol." "Have you ever drank?" "No, nor have I ever wanted to." "Never!? Never Ever!?" "No, never." there were some other questions regarding husband and wife relations and I just couldn't even believe it, I was like "You are thirteen years old! You do not even need to be concerned about these kinds of things yet!" She got a little giggly and I was shocked, speechless almost that that was on her mind. I wasn't even thinking about that at her age, the idea of even holding hands with some boy I found cute would have reduced me to a blushing mess! The part that concerns me the most is she has a boy that she "likes" and he "likes" and they are "going out". The fact that she's thinking about that and has a boyfriend that is fifteen worries me to no end. So, needless to say I have been wondering lately if I should rat her out to her mom. I mean, honestly if I was a mom I would want to know if my young daughter was talking to another woman about these things, to know what was going through her mind. Yet, I don't want her to not confide in me because I may be the only christian influence in her life. It's weird for me because her mom and dad aren't married and have lived together for nine years or so, they curse (not profusely but they do), and she said her dad drinks vodka (once again not often but they know he does every now and then). I'm not sure how I as a christian should handle the talks we're having without sounding like I'm bad mouthing her parents. I don't believe in sex before marriage or living together before marriage but her parents are doing both. I don't believe a person should cuss or drink alcohol but her parents do both. I did get to invite her to church with us and she said she wanted to go with us Sunday but they ended up going to the beach with their mom while their dad was fixing their water pump. So, keep praying with me please. I asked God to help me be better at talking to people about him. I know you people who know me don't believe this but I am really shy when meeting people, I don't like to open up at all. I good at getting to know but bad at getting known, if that makes any sense. At church we just celebrated our pastors thirty-third anniversary, it was so much fun. Then Monday we went out to their house on Deal Island and it was so fun! It has a great lot with tons of trees and shrubs, right down the road from a dock for fishing, only a few minutes away from another beach that has all kinds of shells and sea glass that washes up daily. We walked the beach and came home with a bad full of glass! The best part was that I found a piece of pottery from a dish that had been dumped out at sea that had painting on it, an old 1800's pottery piece! I was thrilled to say the least :) Last night there was planning session for our ladies meeting in May which was also a blast. We had less ladies but it was such fun to sit a chit chat and plan for the get together. We're going to be having quite a few other churches come to this and we'll have three lady speakers and two other ladies and I will sing specials (I'm prolly gonna die) And we'll be serving breakfast and lunch. Fortunately I went with Mrs. Gina to the Sword of the Lord Ladies meeting in NJ in September of last year and it was a blast so I kind of know what is expected. I am bringing bagels, cream cheese, and juice for the breakfast and I'm in charge of decorating two tables for the lunch. Let me tell you, these are loooong tables! The theme of the lunch is Southern Hospitali "Tea". I know, I know, it's super funny to think of Maryland as being in the south but we are still south of the Mason-Dixon line! I'm still officially a southern girl! I figure I'm going to find some old hats and try to find some old gloves and some beads that look like pearls to put on my table :) I can't wait, apart from the nervous tummy from having to sing in front of a bunch of ladies who prolly sing a lot better than me the whole day sounds like it will be just such a blessing. I look forward to the other meetings and continuing to get to know my church ladies and being active in our church. That's all for now gals so please keep me in your prayers, I love you all :-*


You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers.
John J. Plomp

Two Ways To Live Your Life

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Albert Einstein.


Long time no write :) My apologies. So, not that much has gone on yet so much has happened I don't know where to begin. I've been doing a lot of thinking and don't quite know what to write. I suppose the best course of action would be to continue ruminating on the thoughts and ideas swirling in my head at the present moment, a rush to write would only irritate me later at the thoughts I should have elaborated on and didn't. We've had a lot of small blessings and a few large blessings as well. I've been getting to know the neighbors, some in a less friendly more aggravating way ;) The house is down to just the kitchen, the cabinets are on order and then we'll get moving on the rest of it. Spring has sprung... or so we thought. This morning at 6am it was 55 degrees, as I write this at 6pm it is 43 degrees. SO wrong and SO many levels, especially when I think how just two days ago I was wearing a thin cotton sun dress and flip flops. My absolute favouritest of outfits. I waited all winter to wear my comfy sundresses and not need to bundle up and the evil Maryland took it away :) Ha ha, we're learning more and more about the area, there's a Humane Society right in our back yard (practically) and Dallas and I have decided to go there on his days off and late days in. They allow you to take the cats out and play with them and hold them, they also allow you to walk the dogs! It was a heart breaking trip. I've always avoided pounds because anyone who knows me knows I cry like a little baby when I watch sad animal movies :) I cried on lady and the tramp every time during the pound scene. I'm sure my poor husband thought I'd lost my mind when I burst into tears after seeing the dogs barking their hearts out for attention and the little old beagle stick his nose powdered with age through the fence to just stare with his big brown pleading eyes. I swear I would've taken him home in a heartbeat. Dallas also got the assurance that no matter how many times Cotton poops on my floor or eats my favourite pair of shoes he will never be sent to the pound. Unfortunately Cottons job security was discovered, I now have no credible threats to make Dallas at least attempt to make Cotton act civilized. More and more though I see the hand of God in our life, even in the things I wasn't necessarily looking for him. From songs to people to flowers and animals. God's all around us all the time but lately it's like he's more visible in everything. Maybe it's the older you get you look for him more or maybe it's just the pure fact that you're older so you just are more alert. It's a wonderful thing to think that God cares so much about us. I know I'm nothing special, I'm not a person who can do anything really but just love Him, tell others about Him, and do my best to live for Him. I guess the hardest part is not living the way *I want to for Him. There are a lot of things that I can do but there are so many more things that I should do. I can live a normal Godly life and make it through life just fine, but, I want my life to affect the people around me. That my life would really point them to God. I have a little neighbor that honestly I'd rather not have to deal with. It sounds harsh but, the child is crazy. She walks in my house whenever she feels like it and won't leave unless I threaten her to not be able to come back the next day at all. She's extremely hyper active, is extremely prone to breaking things, and stepping on my Dog on the very leg he had to have surgery on :P But, through the whole first two weeks when I just wanted to die every time I saw her coming. Now, one month and a little while in she is learning that Dallas and I aren't crazy young people, she needs to be a little more cooled out. We've had a few pretty deep conversations, I can tell she doesn't really talk to people about a lot of the stuff we've talked about. I'm praying nothing ever comes up that will require a parental alert, her Dad is occupied pretty much all the time and her mom isn't her "real" mom. Her real mom was a drug addict who used while she was pregnant with her which explains a lot about her weird behavior. I'd told Dallas that when we met her the first time that she wasn't ADD there was something really off about her. So, I pray for patience because I want them to come to church with us one day, I want to be the possibly one light in the little girls life. She is always over and never wants to go home, pray with me if you will for God's wisdom in the situation? Thank you Lord for your gifts to us. We don't deserve them yet you love us enough to give them anyway. Help us live life like the miracle it truly is and live gratefully every day in the sunshine or rain of life. I love you Lord.


Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are *(and who God is).
Bernice Johnson Reagon (part in parentheses added by me)

Mutual Weirdness

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." Anonymous

Yesterday being Valentines day has made me think. Dallas and I have always been very aware that we are weird people. That was one thing that we noticed right off the bat is how we could be our weird kooky selves when we are together. Every couple has their little inside jokes that they like to do together, their own "things" if you will. We like to enact our favourite scenes from movies together or quote funny sayings we've heard together. Recently with various things making us keep weird hours and therefore restricting/diminishing sleep has made my quirk of saying words wrong (like "long hair" would come out "hong lair") happen a lot more. With anyone else it would be highly embarrassing, with Dallas we just laugh together and make fun of it all day long. Dallas has a bad habit of "Hill Billyin' it up" which is our term for mumbling when he gets tongue tied. His brain often works a great deal quicker than his tongue can keep up with and the things that come out are often ridiculous and highly amusing :) The mutual weirdness is even extending into the house. We are so alike in our design style and colour palate that it is going seamlessly. Dallas confided in me before we actually closed that he thought we would fight all the time about how to do the house. This revelation really bummed me out and made me want to quit and even kind of hope we wouldn't get the house. If it wasn't going to be fun, then why the heck should we buy one? I don't like to argue especially since I'm the wife and he has the ultimate say when we disagree anyways. I tried to console him and assuage his fears by reminding him we'd already picked colours and flooring and that stuff, not too much more to pick and argue over. He was then soothed and sorry he'd bummed me out. We've now started ripping things out, pulling things up, and taking things down. Now we're about to paint and lay down our flooring. The one thing Dallas and I differ on seems to be budget. We have free money from our tax return but, ever the frugal one he's trying to cheap out on me :) I'm going to stick to my guns because if a lady could see my kitchen they'd know I need more cabinet space and a better layout! I've never been so happy to have a non-ice-maker fridge in my life! If the fridge needed a water line I'd be in trouble and the fridge would be a non mover. Since it uses ice trays for ice making we can move it wherever I want it! Thank God! Alright I think I'm ready to face the day! Thank you Lord for bringing me my perfect match. I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else :)

" Two lives, two hearts joined together in friendship united forever in love." Anonymous

A Country Home

A city man is a home anywhere, for all big cities are much alike. But a country man has a place where he belongs, where he always returns, and where, when the time comes, he is willing to die -

Edward Abbey
Victory! We finally closed on our house. It's about time :) After a very short time that felt like forever Dallas and I are now home owners. It's kind of funny that I'm just as excited to plan and plant a garden as I am to fix up the house! I've always dreamed of having blueberry bushes and have already found a place that sells fruit bearing bushes. The bee's and butterflies will have their own part in the yard when we plant the flower to attract them to come help pollinate the veggies we'll plant. Oh my word, I can't wait to garden again. While I have really enjoyed living in the suburbanized part of town again after being in the extreme country all summer, it will be so nice to have our own piece of land complete with a creek. It's kind of surreal to think we actually *own a house and land. I have now achieved one of landmarks of adulthood, but, I still feel too young to be married for two years much less owning a home! Maybe it's the "Peter Pan" in me :) The house is a little tiny thing, she's just under 900 sq ft, but, from the moment I saw her I knew she'd be the one we got. When we walked in there was that connection, maybe even in it's own way a familiarity of a friend. Dallas walked in after the Realtor, he turned and looked at me and smiled his trademark smile. I knew he was very pleased and this was the place he wanted. The first place we looked at too, it was like a wedding dress, we just knew. We're back to the country. It will be so nice not to have to worry about getting mugged everywhere or having someone smashing around overhead or worrying about being too noisy for the neighbor under our feet. To be able to listen to Kathrine Jenkins as loud as I want to and feel like I'm in a concert once again will really please me to no end! Also, to be able to actually paint and decorate exactly how I want will be interesting. The fact that I can nail things to the walls and paint whatever I want and take things out of wherever I want to will be extremely odd seeing as how I've never really had that option. Though with all this snow we;re having it's put the brakes to any kind of renovating we're trying to do. It's really annoying. We've waited so long to do this and now Mother Nature has pulled out all the stops to keep us from doing anything to the house. It's not only been blizzarding since yesterday at noon on the dot, it's supposed to start snowing Tuesday and snow through Wednesday! So, Lord willing we can get out and get some stuff done tomorrow and Monday so we can work on Dallas's days off Tuesday and Wednesday. WE need to get a move on with this so we can start moving stuff to the house! Woohoo, thanks ladies for all your prayers. God has really blessed us with this house. The payment is ridiculous , the yard is huge, and it's our first home! We will be making many first memories in her and I know that prayer is the only thing that helped us keep our tempers and sanity with the waiting and paper wrangling. I could never express the gratitude for such wonderful friends as you. Thank you Lord for blessing us more than we ever deserve and giving us what we need when we need it.

Rejoice

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:
Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:7-9

I've been doing alot of thinking lately on this subject. It seems people are getting more and more negative. It's rare I hear someone say something pleasant. Now, on that very negative opening I introduce my thought topic of the day: Rejoicing. I have always trended toward the sad side of life. I love slow songs and sad songs the kind that make you feel the emotion in the singers heart. I tend to see the negative outcomes, the bad attitude in a post, the silence from a friend (no one in particular just an example). The bad seems to glare at me from everything, I don't know why this is. It seems as a born again Christian I should see the positive and have the happiness and positive side glare at me. It would make sense that that would be the natural, easy thing to do, right? Well, unfortunately it isn't the case with me. I've decided that the next thing to work on in the betterment of my christian life would be to be the positive person. I know God isn't glorified by a negative outlook on things. I want my life to be a reflection of the Lord's working in my heart. I know that a tiger can't change his stripes on a whim, but, this is something that I really feel is something the Lord would have me change about myself. I've known some ladies in my life time that it seems nothing ever brought them down, they were always sweet and had a kind and encouraging word to help the down cast heart. I want to be an encourager in my little circle of friends. There are far too many things to drag our spirits down, who needs a Negative Nelly complaining about everything under the sun? That is where the Lord should step in, remember the song "Are you weary, are you heavy hearted? Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus!" Why do people feel the need to drag down the worlds day and drag them through the mud of their attitude so much? The Lord is the only one who can truly help us in our situations and change our directions in life or at the very least give us peace in the times of our trials. More often than not the thing we complain about is so fleeting there is no need to tell the world about it anyways. It's funny, I noticed this recently somewhere and it made me acutely aware any time I wanted to complain, how completely unnecessary it is to spread discontent. I don't want to get so wrapped up in the now, what I want to change or what I wish was different that I miss actually living in the moment. I don't want to look back on my life when I'm eighty and think "If only I could go back and tell my twenty year old self that my thighs were fine, my situation wasn't bad, I did have friends and family after all! My hair was not that bad, that annoying person is not even near you! Ignore them!". I want to live thankfully now, not look back and be thankful. No matter what happens I'm on my way to heaven to live with God, Family, and Friends for all eternity. What could possibly measure up to that down here? Thank you Lord for everything you've given me, what you have planned for me, and the things you have for me beyond this life. Help me to live in this awareness every day and to be a reflection of your love and grace.


He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.
Epictetus