Just a List...

I was reading some of the blogs I subscribe to and one person had posted this list. I thought it is a fun way to think about your life and decided to steal it  :)  Here goes!

1. If I were to get pg again: I'd be really excited, preferably it will be when Charlott is a little older and more self sufficient so it won't be so hard on us. Having two infants at once with no family near by would be really hard.

2. If I could have any job in the world: Being a mommy  :)  I already have my dream job!

3. If I had a day to myself I would: Go for a pedicure and hopefully find a friend to go with. I don't know who I'd invite but I'd like to try  :)

 

 

4. If I could get married all over again: I would still elope to VA but I would like my parents to be there or none at all. It caused a ton of issues but I didn't know how to uninvite my future inlaws that my future husband invited. I have a feeling there's a back story there, but, I won't go there.

5. If I could live anywhere in the US: In FL back with my family  :)  I miss my Mom, Dad, and sisters sooo bad  :(

6. If my girl would have been a boy we would have named her: I have no idea! Thank God we  had a girl because Lord knows we couldn't pick a boys name. The only thing we agreed on was making the middle name Russell like Dallas  :)

7. If I could have any talent in the world: Sewing or Knitting. I can sing already, just hate to do it in front of people. I don't need that attention!

8. If you met me in real life: I hope you'd find me fun and friendly. I thik in reality you'd find me slightly boring and cautious, ferociously protective of my family and dedicated to serving the Lord  :)

9. If I could go back to school and get a different degree: I'd want to get a degree in fashion design  :)  I'd love to be able to whip up sweet outfits out of my own head like on Project Runway.

10. If money was NO object: You'd better believe we'd be in FL on a huge chunk of land living in a family compound. the guys would go fishing all day and us girls would sit around and chat, play with our babies, cook delicious gouret meals and shop!

11. If I could meet one celebrity it would be: Um, I really can't think of any real celebrities, ok, I lie. Celine Dion. I LOVE her!

12. If we had a different pet it would be: Nothing. I hate having pets. Our dog is such a pain and the other dog we had and got rid of was another disappointment. So, no more animals.

13. If I could only shop at one store for the rest of my life: I'd have to say like Macy's or soething where you get a ton of variety.

 

 

 

14. If I could go on a trip right now: To FL of course! Thank God I get to go in November so that's not too far away!

 

 

15. If I had to choose between a house cleaner or a personal chef: House Cleaner. Then I'd never have to do dishes because my house cleaner would take care of it all! No more laundry, no more dishes, forever!!

 

 

16. If I had the option of any plastic surgery: No thank you. That's not neccesary.

17. If I could wake up and look like anyone I would choose: Myself, I've never wanted to look like anyone else.

18. If I could have a magical super power:  I'd like the power to snap my fingers and have things happen. Job at the Eglin tower? *snap* there it is! Laundry washed, dried, folded, and put away? *snap* it's done! A super cute outfit to wear? *snap* it's there! Ha ha, that'd be great!

19. If I could change one thing in my past: Um, maybe wasting my time on people that didn't matter. I wish I would have just had enough faith in God that he'd bring the right people to me. Other than that, nothing much.

Watch What You Eat...

"A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch."
Hermione Gingold


"Rich, fatty, foods are like destiny: they too, shape our ends."
Unknown

I wanted to just post a quick diet update. I am now on day three of the induction phase of the Atkins diet. Other than trying to adjust to NOT giving into sugar, this is so easy. I don't have to count calories but majoring my meals on mostly protien keeps me really full so there is never the "Oh poor me, I just want to eat something!" and the resulting guilt of giving into actually eating. It also is allowing me to get control of what I already know is my issue, too many sugars and carbs. I don't know about you but, Girl do I love me some bread! I can eat bread at every single meal and still eat it as a snack in between meals. I know in my heart that it's not suppose to be that way with my eating habits but I still eat way too much bread when I'm not dieting. Even when I am dieting there is the 40cal a slice bread so that's healthy right? Ha ha, anyways, the New and Improved Atkins is really good about laying out how and why the diet works. It also allows a very good range of veggies that I can lay into. I love veggies, not so much cheese which in the old diet was a mainstay. That and eggs, blech! I hate egg yolks. I usually eat the whites but I'm trying to get over that because there are so many good things for us in an egg yolk. But, it also has become easier to eat out on this diet because restaurants are becoming more in tune with people's desire to eat and live healthier. Therefore I can pretty much go to any restaurant now and eat without having to ask for special things done to my meal, whick is so great. It's really funny because I got my book last Tuesday and started eating whatever the heck I wanted that wouldn't be allowed on the diet. It was a glorious yet long four days. It was funny because I got sick of eating fast/fattening foods, so I had to force myself to eat dinner. Then Sunday it was so hard to resist the cookies and clam chowder at church but I did it and stuck to my salad and string cheese. Then it was BIRTHDAYS celebration that night and so I sat around watching everyone eat ice cream, cookies, and cake! I was rewarded with KFC's grilled chicken and green beans so I wasn't completely left out :) I'm hoping to lose about 35lbs total. I want to lose at least half by Kara's wedding. I know I prolly won't lose it all but I don't want to be monstrously bigger than everyone else. I know I'll never be in the 120's or less like my sisters are but, I can be 135-145lbs and I don't look like I'm a huge monster compared to them. I'm a bigger scaled girl than them but it carries differently on me too. Though, I won't lie, I'd love to quote my sisters weight to people instead of my own! To be tiny and cute would be great, but, God gave me this body so I want it to look as good as it possibly can. I must say I am extremely pleased so far and wish I'dve started sooner! Thank you Shauna for telling me over and over to try it out! I owe you one low carb cookie ;D Ha ha! Anyways, I'll keep ya'll updated from time to time and ya'll keep me accountable and encouraged, ok?

"No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you can do is run for public office."
George Bernard Shaw

"You've Got to Start Young”

"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it you've got to start young."

Theodore Roosevelt

"The greatest amount of wasted time is the time not getting started."

Dawson Trotman

So, a friend and my sister had a post that got me to thinking. I've been working on letting go of my angst and feeling of discontentment. I've been real down since we got to MD because I really want to get back home and it's not happening. I started getting sad about my tiny house, Charlotte not having any girls her age, and just generally stupid stuff that shouldn't bother me. I realized that if I'm supposed to be happy here and content why should we keep waiting for our "real" life to start? This is our real life! We're going to be in this house til God sees fit to let us leave MD, hopefully to Fl or GA :) So, I decided that we're going to start nesting and that means getting my house set up as a place we CHOOSE to live in. I hate having mismatched furniture and old lumpy fall apart junk that's give to me and it works so we take it. We're going to have real furniture and a house that I like being in and am comfortable in. If I keep waiting life will never start, you know? There'll always be a reason to see the gloomy dark sucky side of things. I CHOOSE to start living like I enjoy this little house because I do for the most part. I enjoy the massive yard with room for Charlotte to have a swing and a playhouse one day, apple trees to eat fresh delicious apples, peach trees with the most delicious white peaches you've ever eaten, room for a vegetable garden, a flourishing little herb garden right out my kitchen door, a bonfire spot that is soon to become a stone bonfire pit, and so many flowering trees! When I consciously list the things I love about this place I feel so stupid for being so ungrateful. We even have a ton of room to add on to make the master sweet and closet I've always dreamed of. This house is like myself, room to grow and become the person I've always wanted to be. It's exciting to think of the things I can do, if I only let God do it. I have a feeling I hold him back a lot because of my bad ungrateful attitude. Which is a hard thing to think. I want God to use me and bless me if for no other reason than for Charlotte's sake. I know for a fact that because my parents were faithful to God I lived in a blessed house and want Charlotte to have the same thing, to know thta God is real because she sees him on a daily basis

"The begining is the most important part of the work."

Plato

There's a monster in my house!

"A Baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother"

Mark Twain

What a day! Good grief, what a FEW days. So, I think Charlotte is teething but then again I've been thinking that for like two whole months, so I really don't know what to think :( These last few days she has pretty much cried non-stop with me and when I say cry I mean cuh-ry and with a lot of screaming, like horror movie screaming, thrown in. Of course this all falls on the days that Dallas has long work days so I'm left with the demon child all alone for extended periods of time. It was so bad coming home from the ladies meeting (that I shouldn't have even gone too, stupid me!!) that my heart was racing til about half an hour after she'd finally fallen asleep. She screamed all the way home from church, while I was holding her unloading the car, while I changed her diaper and into her pajamas, and through her bottle. She also screamed quite a bit while she was fighting going to sleep which was what she really needed most. Then to add insult to injury she hasn't been sleeping well either. So, I've been dealing with the most unhappy baby on the planet while also not being able to get more than 2-3 solid hours of sleep for the last 4 days. Part of the lack of sleep is my wonderful husbands fault. He's not the best bed sharer sometimes. I've been feeling mself slowly turning into a troll and I've been praying hard that God will help me controll myself. However, I've noticed the slow slide into sleep deprived insanity has begun. I try to comfort myself with the fact that this phase won't last long either. She's obviously not feeling good so I just take a deep breath about every 10-15min and try something new to pacify the monster. As much as I really should be wistfully remembering the days that I could have run away to work and left the screamer behind for someone else to care for, that is the one thing I am most glad I don't have to do. I am so thankful that I am the one taking all the screaming and rabid hair pulling and kicks to the hand while trying to change her diaper. I'd bawl my eyes out trying to hand her over to someone else to love and mother her when that's what I should be doing, I'm so grateful that I am the recipient of the torture because I know that she's building a bond with me and she'll know that I'm the one who loves her and will comfort and care for her no matter what. Besides, in this place, I highly doubt that I'd be able to find someone that wouldn't just sit her in a bed and let her rip. I'm glad that I can take her out and swing her and rock her or whatever to try and make her feel better. Ah, I feel so much better after letting that out. I hope this doesn't make me a bad mommy, complaining about my baby, but, I'm sorry that's what's going on and for a whole month and a half I've had her all by myself, no dates or baby breaks other than an hour at church on sunday morning and night. I still love her more than anything and soon she should return to her mostly happy gleeful self :) I know if I could just get a good nights sleep everything would seem easier :) Anyways, I've been wanting to lose some weight and I've taken the plunge and ordered the Atkins Diet book. My sister sings it's praises so I figure I'll read it and hopefull be able to start it next week and get this sugar monster out of my system. I've been really really bad with my eating habits lately and I hate myself for it! Ugh! Lot's of self loathing lately, but, on the plus side it's less than two months before I get to escape to FL! Ah, sweet sweet Fl! I have been dying to just be in my mother's presence! It will make me feel so much better to be around my family again. But, I seem to have hit a wall in my writing mind and will prolly go try to lay down and rest for a bit :) Talk to ya'll later!

Long Time No Post :)

Well, my internet browser isn't working so unfortunately I'm too lazy to type out my usual quotes :) Ha ha, anyways as ya'll can tell I've been pretty busy with life in general to post a blog in a while. That and the fact that I'm not sure anyone is reading anyore, but, that's fine. This is kind of an online journal so, it will continue when I have the time. Well, Charlotte is 10 days from being 5months old! I can't believe it is already that far along! She is 20lbs and last time she was measured 25 1/2 inches long and that was two weeks ago! My baby girl is so big! Dallas is settling into the roll of Loving Daddy extremely well. He's also happy baby girl is allowing me to make dinner and lately get a little cleaning done. It all just depends on how well she naps and how often :) If she naps she will let me clean while she's asleep and the better she naps the more content she is to sit in her bouncy seat to allow me to clean things and cook. A no nap day (which is still extremely often) means a cranky ladybug and no breaks from holding and a terrible evening as she tries to go to sleep at 5:45p and I try to keep her up til at least 7pm. As much as this ight sound as complaining I promise I'm not, I would not trade my new life for anything! I absolutely adore my baby girl and wouldn't trade this life for anything in the world. It's such an amazing thing to be able to stay home with my Little and watch her grow and experience things for the first time again with her. Seeing the world through her eyes makes me want to try to be more focused on the now. When I do I find that I'm amazed by the little things all over again. Things like lightning bugs in the backyard at night, the stars in a clear sky, butterflies dancing in the yard are all things I see every single day but sometimes forget to marvel at the unique beauty that God gave us. It's so refreshing to watch Little enjoy things. Her face lights up and she smiles that big toothless open mouth smile and it's just an overwhelming experience. Now, on the me front, I've been trying to lose some of the baby weight. At 10wks PG I weighed 155lbs I weighed 205lbs at my last OB appt and now I weigh 173.7lbs. I've hit an exercise snag because I did something weird to my leg. I think I did too much too soon on my elliptical and had a weird under skin bleed in my calf that kept going on for about 3weeks so I'm giving it a rest from heavy exercise and just trying to stay busy in the house and getting out to walk around. So, I' happy to say I am down 32lbs on my own but I want to be about 140-145lbs. That's when I'm at my happiest weight. It's such an agonizing process because I'm so impatient. I can tell in my clothes that I'm losing because they are looser, so that's good but the OCD in me wants to see it on the scale too. It's also odd because everyone says your body chnges after child birth. I figured since I had a c-section my hips would shrink down quickly and life would go on. Boy was I w-r-o-n-g!Now, I've always been a "rear" carrier but this is just ridiculous! My German heritage has placed my extra weight (quite litteraly) squarley on by rump. I square off when I'm gainging weight and my rear looks long and square. Now since being PG I have what I call a "Fat Belt". It's my hips, the fat is in a V shape from my hips and it meets at a point in the usual tummy pouch. It's so weird because my hips are a good 2inches larger than my hips and waist right above the hips! It looks so odd! But, thank God for suckers! You know, the greatest invention for women kind ever invented -spanx :D Ha ha! I've been utilizing mine regularly for church and what not. While I love it I feel slightly guilty like I'm deceiving people. It's the same way I feel about plastic surgery, it's not impressive if I look good because I paid to look that way, it's not natural! But, I still succomb because I hate the way I look in certain clothes that show my "belt" :) Ugh, I just tell myself it will go away if I stay consitent with being active and eating better. Plus what better reason is there to ruin my body than my beautiful baby girl? I'd do it again 10x if I could afford them and live closer to my mom so I had more help ;D Well, I guess I'm done for now, and please for give any dropped letters on my words. I'm using internet explorer and they can't see to keep up with my typing speed which I assure you is not all that fast! Until then please keep me and the family in your prayers!

Love you guys!

Check out the Zulily 'Cutie' Photo contest!

Vote for Char please :)
Check out the Zulily 'Cutie' Photo contest!

A Mother Always Has To Think Twice

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.
Sophia Loren

Being a full time mom is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love.
Mildred B. Vermont

Hey guys, long time no write :) It's been twelve weeks since my little girl made her debut into the world. It started out kinda rough but we're slowly but surely learning how to make her happy. She is getting better about car rides, sleeping, eating, and just generally being happier girl. It's nice to see that she is a happy baby. She is getting settled into a nighttime schedule so I have a little alone time to spend with Dallas. It was definitely a rough transition for him to go from the only one getting my attention to having to share me, even if it is with a tiny little screamer :) Now that we've got time in the morning and time at night things feel a ton better. I knew we'd be preoccupied with the baby but it didn't hit me how little time we'd have together. So now we definitely are making a point to have a solo date night at least every other week. I'm so thankful for good people from church that are willing and actually dying to watch Charlotte for us so I'm not stressed out about her. It's so nice to get out just Dallas and I even if it only ends up being two or three hours. I love having that time to just be together and not have to do nything other than focus on him. Charlotte is so sweet and getting happier the bigger she gets. She smiles so much and tries to talk to us already. All she's really able to say right now is "Ahgoo" and "Ahhhhh" but when she gets really upset and she's crying she'll break out the "Maaaamaaaa!!!" and it just rips my heart out :) She's also learning to make a super poochy lip too, is it wrong that I find it incredibly cute? It's gotten a lot better being at home all the time too. It just took some adjusting to go from going all the time to being home all the time. SO now my priorities prayer wise are for things to keep going well and to get us down south again. We really love our little house and piece of land but it is just way too far from family. I' praying that Eglin opens up and we can get a position there or even Pensacola. I just am dying to get closer to my family. As frustrating as the situation is I am trying to stay patient so if this is the Lord trying to teach me to be patient I can get my passing grade and head home :) Otherwise we're here til He lets us go, until then I'll try and keep everyone updated :) Love you all keep us in your prayers :)

Motherhood changed me because it is so fundamental what you're doing for another person. And you are able to do even though it takes a lot.
Meg Ryan